This week’s word is…CURIOSITY

There are words that are essential to the Mothering Conversation. Words that represent qualities and behaviors for us to try on if we are to
evolve the conversation of mothering. Each week on our blog, we feature one of these Words.

I’ve always been very curious – about everything (do you think that has something to do with my career choice of Coach?). I’m sure I drove my parents more than a little crazy with all my questions as a child. What was that like? What for? What if? Why not? To this day, when I’m out for a walk, a bike ride, or even driving, I can’t pass by an unfamiliar road or trail without wandering down a-ways. Hmmm…I wonder what’s down here…?

Then we grow up and start believing that it is good and right to have answers, not questions. Only, most times when I believe I have ‘the answer,’ it is often really an assumption. Or simply one possibility where many others may also exist.

answer and questions

Curiosity is a way of looking at the people and circumstances in my life with a sense of detachment to what’s come before and a fresh, unsoiled openness to what I might find now, today. My curiosity flows freely when I detach from my opinions, let go of my assumptions, and presence my mind and heart on the person and the interaction happening right now. I am expectant and open; ready to be surprised. Sounds way more fun than how we approach our lives most days, huh?!

Curiosity is open, inviting, spacious – unattached to any outcome. And it is enormously powerful. Reclaiming my child-like curiosity is one of my life’s great quests. Along my way thus far, I’ve met with more interesting conversations, better decision-making, and a level of fulfillment and intimacy in my relationships that I didn’t know was possible.

Here are a few of my favorite ‘curiosity-inspired’ questions. These can be especially powerful when a conversation has taken a negative tone, such as when someone is complaining or deflecting responsibility. Imagine the shift that can occur when we ask an open-ended, curiosity inspired question, versus reacting or responding to the complaint or deflection.

  • What’s most important about that for you?
  • If you were to wake up tomorrow and this situation was exactly as you wish it to be, what is the first thing you would notice? OR If you were to wake up tomorrow and this situation was exactly as you wish it to be, what would be different for you?
  • What do you need or want now?
  • If you could take one step that would have a big impact here, what would that be?
  • What possibilities do you see from here?
  • How do you imagine that would affect _________?
  • Sounds like you’re _________ [excited, frustrated, etc]. Tell me more.
  • I hear you that this feels _______ [frustrating, difficult, unfair, etc]. What do you think God is showing us / teaching us here?

Download our printable Curiosity reminder by clicking on the image of it below. Play and be adventurous with your curiosity! And please share your favorite curiosity-inspired questions in our comments.

curiosity

God bless you and yours,
De

 
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  1. Maria says:

    Just printed out the curiosity reminder card and posted it on my refrigerator! Thank you 🙂

    Reply

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