The year I turned 45

A few notable events occurred in my life the year that I turned 45:

  • My eyesight changed and I finally got to wear those cute magnifier glasses.
  • I began covering up my grey hair for the first time. It’s been fun experimenting with different colors. Nothing too radical: medium golden brown, dark brown, red brown, etc.
  • My social priorities made a big shift and I began spending more time each day in prayer than on social media or in contact with friends.
  • I let go of two old, tired roles I used to play: victim and hero.
  • I chose contentment over striving.
  • I began to envision a lovely picture of growing old with my husband.
  • I got pregnant.

What!? Pregnant?! You’ve got to be kidding me! To quote my mother, upon hearing my news: “What? How is that even possible?” Thanks Mom. I’m not THAT old.

So here I am at almost 46 years old, with a teenage daughter, a tween-age son, and a newborn baby.
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Balancing their disparate needs is quite a daunting challenge. Some days I flat out can’t handle it all (or more truthfully, don’t want to handle it all!).

But I AM handling it. Moment by moment. Through constant prayer and grasping for a heavenly hand to lift me up and keep nudging me onward. “Jesus, with you by my side, enough has been given” is my mantra & breath prayer.
(from a prayer called “Soul of Christ” by David L. Fleming, S.J. The Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius: A Contemporary Reading.)

Jesus is Enough
When I’m tempted to complain that I didn’t get enough sleep or that I don’t have enough energy……”Jesus, with you by my side, enough has been given.”

When I’m tempted to believe the lie that I don’t have what it takes……”Jesus, with you by my side, enough has been given.”

When my defenses are weakened and I get stuck in worry, fear or anxiety……”Jesus, with you by my side, enough has been given.”

And you know what? Time and time again, He proves that statement to be true. As soon as I take my focus off of myself and place my eyes back on Him, I am filled with Peace. And Hope. Even though circumstances look much the same as they did moments before, everything is somehow easier. Try it and see for yourself.

God has called me (and you) to the role of motherhood. More specifically, He has called us to mother the individual and unique children that He’s given to us because He knows that we are the perfect ones for the job. And He will continually equip us with exactly what we need each day if we but trust in Him. Even in the midst of the stressful days, the sleepless nights, the tween attitude, the teen independence, keep calling to Him. We can count on Him for rest, peace, strength, endurance and grace to cover our worn-out spirits. He is always Enough!

and, behold, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. Amen. – Matthew 28:20

With love,
De

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  1. Colleen says:

    De you continue to amaze and inspire me..

    Reply

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