All posts by De Yarrison

  • The Power of Perspective Shifting


    My mom and I are taking a trip across the country in a few weeks. We, along with my two teens, will fly from Philadelphia to Seattle, stay in a beach house in Port Angeles, and attend my cousin’s wedding in Olympic National Park. The other night, Mom and I were sharing concerns about the trip: are we spending too much money? Should we have rented a house at the beach or just stayed in cheaper accommodations? Will we even know anyone at the wedding? Is Zach going to be ok without me for 5 days??

    Worrying is not very much fun. Thankfully, I had my coaching hat with me 😉 .

    With my coaching hat on, I thought, you know what’s done is done and what’s to come will come. Worrying won’t change any of it. So let’s try on a new perspective. How do we want to feel right now?

    Peaceful. Excited. Grateful for the opportunity to travel together.

    Together we decided to stand in the perspective of “cross-country adventure with my grand-kids / kids.” Any adventure worth its salt will contain the unknown, the unfamiliar, and the unpredictable. Through the lens of “cross-country adventure,” facing the unknown, unfamiliar, and unpredictable excites me, raises my curiosity and sense of anticipation. Which feels infinitely more fun than worrying!

    What circumstance or area of your life would benefit from a perspective shift?

    Here are two ways to begin:
    1. First is prayer (isn’t prayer the best first step for everything?!). Father God, I ask for Your help to shift my perspective about ______. I’ve been worrying rather than trusting You. Help me to see this situation/person through Your eyes. Please correct my thinking; remove any thoughts that cause me to step off the path that leads to You – to light, truth, and peace. Place new thoughts – Your thoughts – into my heart and mind. Saced Heart of Jesus, I place all my trust in You!

    2. Second is a fun little exercise…
    Pretend that you are taking off a pair of glasses and setting them down on a table. These glasses hold your current perspective. All your thoughts, worries, fears, and assumptions about that circumstance or relationship. Before you on the table are dozens of other pairs of glasses, each with a different label.

    There’s the Mountain-top Perspective glasses, the Forest Perspective glasses, and the Bubbling Brook Perspective glasses.
    – What if you looked at that circumstance from the “mountain-top” perspective? Standing high above, up out of the
    mucky details, where the air is refreshing and crisp. Get curious about what you might see from this bird’s-eye-view.

    There’s the Salsa Dance Perspective glasses and the Waltz Perspective glasses.
    – What fresh thinking might be available to you while considering the Waltz perspective, with it’s smooth, flowing,
    comfortably rhythmic movement?

    There’s also a long line of glasses labeled with colors.
    – How would your world look different if you chose to wear the Yellow Perspective glasses today? The Hot Pink
    Perspective glasses? The Sage Green Perspective glasses?

    Worry, anxiety and frustration can leave us feeling stuck or powerless. The truth is, we have the power at any moment to create a new experience for ourselves. The very moment we become aware of our worry, anxiety, or dissonance, we can gently pause our thinking, take a breath, and begin to pray for help to shift our perspective. Whether our circumstance ever changes or not, isn’t the issue. When we shift our perspective, we shift how we’re feeling about the circumstance and how we’re choosing to relate with that circumstance.

    And this becomes the difference between being captive to our circumstances or going free.

    The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. – Philippians 4:5-6

  • I’m good, thanks.


    I’m good, thanks. How many times do I hear these words, or some variation on the sentiment, in a day? Here are a few recent examples:

    I accidentally bumped into a young man in the market and said, “Excuse me, I’m sorry.” To which he replied, “No, I’m good.”

    I said to my 2-year-old, “Zach, I’m tired. Let’s take a rest.” To which he replied, “No Mama, you good.”

    Two weekends ago, I was chaperoning a youth retreat. I was walking across campus to meet my group and two girls passed by me. One was coughing, choking on something. I asked her if she wanted a bottle of water. She replied, “no, [cough-cough], I’m [cough] good.”
    Me: “I’ve got three unopened bottles in my backpack. Please take one.”
    Her: “[cough] No, I’m good. [cough]”
    Her friend was just staring at her like, “take the water already!!”

    I set my pack down, pulled out a bottle of water and practically forced it on her. She did take it and drank nearly the whole thing in one breath.

    What is going on? When did we decide that we’re all “good” and don’t need to accept help or apologies or even water from one another? How did this sentiment become so commonplace that it has become an automatic response from my 2-year-old?

    And perhaps more importantly, I wonder what we’re not saying when we’re saying “I’m good.” I have a hunch that we might not be saying things like:

    • Yes, I could use some help right now.
    • Thank you for noticing [me].
    • I would really like that, thank you.

    Vulnerability. A knee-jerk, “I’m good,” dances around our vulnerability.
    What makes us vulnerable is what makes us beautiful: giving compassion, laughing out loud, praying with someone who is hurting, showing spontaneous affection. These authentic expressions are the source of connection and intimacy in our lives.

    Hearing “I’m good” lets me off the hook. Frees me up from seeing your vulnerability, spending time listening to your story, and experiencing your need.
    Saying “I’m good” lets me off the hook from showing my own vulnerability; from sharing the truth about my needs, worries, or difficulties. I don’t want to do that anymore.

    “speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.” – Ephesians 4:15

    What will it mean or do for us when we speak and listen to the truth from one another? Without having answers or rushing to solution. Simply giving the gift of our presence to one another.

    Copyright 2017 De Yarrison

  • Verse, April 30

    “I will give them an undivided heart and put a new spirit in them; I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh.” – Ezekiel 11:19

  • Verse, April 29

    “As we pour out our bitterness, God pours in his peace.”
    – F.B. Meyer

  • Verse, April 28

    “He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.” – Isaiah 40:29

  • Verse, April 27

    “The Lord is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation. He is my God, and I will praise him, my father’s God, and I will exalt him.” – Exodus 15:2

  • Verse, April 26

    “Come, and see the victories of the cross. Christ’s wounds are thy healings, His agonies thy repose, His conflicts thy conquests, His groans thy songs, His pains thine ease, His shame thy glory, His death thy life, His sufferings thy salvation.”
    – Matthew Henry

  • Verse, April 25

    “God never made a promise that was too good to be true.”
    – D. L. Moody

  • Verse, April 24

    “God loves each of us as if there were only one of us. ”
    – St. Augustine

  • Verse, April 23

    “Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children.”
    – Chuck Swindoll